Iris, For the Song
by Xellina-san
Summary: A songfic based on the Goo Goo Dolls song "Iris". Lina/Xellos. Very sappy. It's about sacrifices... and happy endings. ^_^ Rated PG for kissing, and because my soul rebels at labelling anything "G". ^_^ R & R please!


  
  
Songfic: tune- Iris, by the Goo-Goo Dolls I don't own this song! I don't own this anime, or these characters, nor have I ever claimed to! I'm poor! Please don't sue me! ^_^;;  
  
Iris  
by Xellina  
  
  
And I'd give up forever to touch you,  
  
Well, that was, after all, what he was attempting to do. He had immortality, life forever and great power as well, but lately those things had come to mean little, if he couldn't have her. She was all he really wanted anymore, but they could never be together, not as things were now. He was, after all, a monster. But I'm trying to change that.  
  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow.  
  
And yet, she did love him. She had admitted it at last, before they'd parted for the last time, just last night, both knowing that their love could not withstand the difference in their natures which drove them apart. "A Monster in love with the Monster slayer," he'd remarked sardonically, one hand holding her chin in a gentle grip as he stared into her eyes. "A doomed relationship, surely." And one that had been costly for him as well. If it wasn't for his great power, he would have been completely shunned by all his race, for he had few friends other than his own master. But still, it was Lina that he loved, and had loved almost since the first time he'd laid eyes on her, almost six years ago now.  
  
You're the closest to heaven I'll ever be,  
  
She, Lina Inverse the Bandit Killer, of the fiery hair and matching temper, was the sole reason that he, Xellos Metallium, would ever dare to ask of his master what he was daring now. Lina was the best and purest thing in a long, long life, and the only mortal he had ever admired, even when he'd been human and mortal himself. She was a glimpse of something that he had thrown away long ago, without thought, and now regretted. Xellos hesitated on the threshold of his master's room. Carefully he laid his staff against the wall, knowing that it would do him no good.  
  
And I don't want to go home right now.  
  
  
  
  
Last night he'd not come home. He and Lina, after confessing to each other, in words, what had gone unspoken for so long, had held each other, just held each other, trying to delay their inevitable parting for as long as possible. After close to six years, six years of changes and happenings more tumultuous for them both than anything that had gone before . . . everything was ending, unless he could pull this off. After leaving Lina, Xellos had wandered silently, aimlessly through the streets of Atlas City, where she lived now most of the time, her taste for adventure having been somewhat dulled during the difficult period following Gourry's death a few years back. Xellos, still hesitating outside his master's door, bowed his head, remembering that battle, and how for Lina's sake he had done his best to save Gabriev, and had failed. Xellos shook his head, pushing aside memories, and resolutely opened the door.  
  
And all I can taste is this moment,  
  
Zelas Metallium was obviously expecting him. She was sitting in a high-backed chair facing the door, one leg tucked up beside her and a cigarette in her right hand. She blew smoke at him when he entered, shutting the door softly behind him. "Master I-"  
"I know perfectly well why you've come here, Xellos," she said coolly, and now he saw the crystal ball in her left hand and knew that she must have been following everything he'd done. "I haven't been your master for so long without learning how your mind works." She took another hit off her cigarette. "I just want you to give me one good reason why I shouldn't destroy you right here and now, you traitor!"  
  
And all I can breathe is your life,  
  
Xellos, stung, jerked upright. "Traitor? I have served you faithfully in everything! Why do you call me a traitor?"  
"Oh? Yes, you have served me faithfully, as you are bound to do, and now you want to revoke your pledge and be free of me. Is this not treachery?"  
Xellos was surprised and a little hurt. Yes, it was true that he had to obey her when she gave him a direct command, but he had always served her out of personal loyalty as well. Didn't she know that? But then he bowed his head, recognizing the truth of her words. Treason was, indeed, basically what he was contemplating. "You have already guessed what I came here to ask you, then," he said, carefully draining all emotion out of his words and his voice. "I wanted to ask you to release me from your service."  
"Yes, so you may marry the killer of your own race. What excellent taste you have, Xellos!" she snarled at him.  
Her words cut at him, but he ignored it. "Yes."  
"Why?"  
He looked up. "I beg your pardon?"  
  
And sooner or later it's over,  
  
She picked up a figurine and lobbed it at his head. Xellos ducked, barely in time, and the statuette shattered against the door. "I said why, you moron! What makes her so special? What power does she have over you, that you would want to leave me, whom you have served for over a thousand years . . . and been more than contented with that service, might I add! Why is she so different?"  
Xellos was startled, suddenly recognizing something he hadn't seen before. She's jealous! He thought incredulously. It's insane, but Zelas is actually jealous of Lina! Why, master, I didn't know you cared! Oddly enough, he was touched, and it helped to ease the sting of her words. He answered her honestly, knowing even as he did that he was wasting his time. "Because I love her," he said quietly, simply. Unnoticed by him, a single tear trickled down his cheek, but Zelas Metallium saw it, and for a moment was moved, but then she hardened herself resolutely, anger flaring up once more.  
  
  
"Will you help me?" Xellos asked.  
Beast Master took a deep drag off her cigarette, controlling herself with an effort. "No monster ever leaves his, her, or its master's service, Xellos, not alive." Her voice was cold as ice, and Xellos knew he had failed. He bowed his head again, hope eroding into despair. He tried one last time. "Please, master, just-"  
She half stood up, power coming suddenly together around her, causing her blond hair to spread out around her face like a cloud with the static electricity. "I said no, Xellos!" she screamed, fangs and claws suddenly evident. "Now get out, and don't come near me again until I've had a chance to let my temper cool!"  
  
I just don't want to miss you tonight!  
  
Xellos fled the room, thankful to have escaped Beast Master's capricious temper relatively lightly, considering how almost any other Mazoku (including himself) would have completely obliterated a subordinate who dared ask something like what he had. Xellos Metallium leaned against the wall, gathering up his staff. He went to the main hall and, succumbing to temptation, got his crystal ball. He looked into it, preparing to invoke an image of Lina, then in a sudden fit of fury flung the object as hard as he could against the far wall. It shattered instantly, and Xellos, looking at the pieces, saw in them both himself and Lina Inverse. He slumped to the stone floor of the hall, cradling his staff as though for comfort, while sudden, hot tears poured in a flood down his cheeks.  
  
And I don't want the world to see me!  
  
Several hours later, Xellos was still sitting on the stone floor of his master's main hall, turning his staff over and over in his hands. He'd found another crystal ball, and it sat before him, but was dark, with no picture. He was hungry, but getting a meal simply didn't seem worth the bother, so he just sat, head bowed over his staff, too benumbed to think anything like coherently, or to feel anything beyond despair. I bet my master is getting a really fantastic meal off of me, he thought sardonically, and then found he didn't even care. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Lina. Lina, bright-eyed and fierce, ready to fight against terrible odds with a cheerful heart; Lina, smiling at him; Lina . . .  
  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
  
At last, a light touch on his shoulder startled Xellos into looking up. It was Zelas Metallium, her hair disheveled, and her eye make-up smeared by the tracks of recent tears.  
Xellos, struggling to his feet, started to speak, but she stopped him with one upraised hand. It was only then that he saw that she was holding something in her other hand. He started to ask a question, then paused, a realization growing in his heart, and with it, hope. Zelas held out the object after a brief hesitation, and he could see that her hands were trembling. "Take it," she said, in the softest, gentlest voice he'd ever heard her use, hoarse with her recent weeping.  
  
  
  
  
When everything's made to be broken,  
  
Xellos's hands closed over Zelas Metallium's, and he gently took the object, a stone tablet smeared dark with old blood, from her lax grip. Surprise, and then gratitude filled him as he realized that what he was holding was his own pledgestone from long, long ago, and the key to his freedom. Xellos cradled the precious object in his arms, eyes closed, for a moment, then he looked up at Beast Master. "Master," he began, but again Zelas stopped him with an upraised hand. "No, Xellos," she said sadly, "you need never call me that again."  
Xellos swallowed and nodded. "Very well then, Zelas . . . I thank you," he said, with all the sincerity and real relief he could cram into his voice. Awkwardly then he embraced her, still holding the stone tablet protectively to his chest.  
She patted his cheek. "I shall miss you, Xellos. You were an excellent servant, and a worthy friend." Once again she overrode him. "Now, go to your woman, and show her the gift I have given you, then make your life with her."  
He nodded, beginning to grin. "Will you come to our wedding?"  
She smiled back. "Of course." Then she turned away and walked off without a backwards glance.  
  
I just want you to know who I am!  
  
Xellos stared after his now former master for a moment, still stunned, and grateful to her for this totally unexpected gift, then he turned and immediately teleported himself to Lina. He materialized silently, directly behind her.   
Back at her lair, Beast Master closed her eyes for a moment, a little bemused by this unfamiliar inner pain she was experiencing, then she materialized herself another cigarette and picked up her crystal ball to watch Xellos reuniting with his beloved, her golden eyes half-blinded by tears.   
  
  
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,  
  
Lina stared at the locket in her hands. It was the one Xellos had given her for her twenty-first birthday, just last year. For so long it had seemed to her that he would be there forever . . . that indeed, they all would! But now . . .  
Zelgadis was dead, killed in a battle with a powerful Dark Lord two years ago, a battle that had gone very poorly, since Lina could not cast Giga-Slave anymore without losing her soul. Phileonel had fallen ill two winters ago, and now Amelia was the ruler of Seyruun. Her grief at Zel's death had matured her considerably, and she ruled her kingdom with a firm, wise hand, but she had little time or inclination anymore for adventuring. Lina looked at her wall. Zel's sword was there, and the little purse and dagger Amelia had carried during their traveling together, and beside them . . . the Sword of Light. Gourry also had died in the same battle that took Zel's life, two years ago now. Her truest friend and her first love, both dead and all their dreams with them. Amelia was not the same as she had been, not by far. And now, with Xellos gone, and for good this time, Lina was alone at last. Lina let the locket slip through her fingers as she raised her hands to her face and cried.  
  
Or the moment of truth in your lies.  
  
Lina felt herself swept up in a soothing, warm embrace, an embrace that was so achingly familiar that for a moment she was in complete shock, then she spun around and looked up into a pair of familiar violet eyes, eyes she had thought never to see again, eyes that were now as filled with tears as her own.  
  
When everything feels like the movies,  
  
A shock, a rush of incredulous joy, then new tears. "X- Xellos?" she gulped through the sobs that racked her, sobs of tension and release. "I- I thought you said that you couldn't come back?" She sniffled, freeing one hand from his tight embrace to scrub at her eyes.  
He held her closely, burying his face in her hair to inhale the spicy scent of it, his own tears wetting the fiery tresses. "I couldn't leave you, Lina," he whispered. "I love you too much." He pulled away, taking from his cloak the stone tablet. "And now I have the means to stay with you," he said triumphantly, showing it to her.  
Lina's eyes went wide as she recognized what the object had to be. "How, how did you get it?" she asked.  
Xellos smiled wryly. "Zelas gave it to me."  
Lina looked up at him, her mouth falling open. "She freed you?"  
"Yes. And now . . ."  
  
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive!  
  
Xellos raised the pledgestone over his head, then brought it down on his knee. Zelas Metallium, watching in her crystal ball, jerked involuntarily as it shattered, and new tears sprang to her eyes.  
When the tablet shattered, Xellos screamed as pain lanced through him and fell to his knees, for a moment unable to see past the red haze that blurred his vision. He fought for consciousness, feeling, as though from far away, that he was bleeding. But he was free. Xellos drew a harsh breath and struggled upright, then almost collapsed again. He was free. The fragments of the pledgestone shimmered and disappeared.  
  
And I don't want the world to see me!  
  
Lina helped Xellos over to a chair, then stanched the blood flow from his nose with her   
magic. She was trying very hard to be angry, so that he'd have something to feed off of, but he caught her arm and squeezed it. "Don't, Lina. It's alright."  
She smiled at him, then he stood up again and kissed her.  
  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
  
"Marry me," he whispered to her, one hand gently beneath her chin. Silently, wordlessly, Lina nodded. "Please stay with me," she whispered hoarsely.  
  
  
When everything's made to be broken,  
  
"Always, Lina," the Trickster Priest, former employee of Zelas Metallium, said in an unusually solemn voice. "That's the whole idea, after all, isn't it?"  
Lina laughed and clung to him, and he hugged her back with his strong arms wrapped tightly around her as though he would never let go.  
  
I just want you to know who I am!  
  
They kissed again, a long kiss, and in the middle of it Lina opened her eyes to find herself staring into Xellos's own violet ones, which were once more filled with tears, though Lina couldn't see their source. She closed her eyes again and reveled in the feeling of the kiss. Never mind that Xellos was and remained a Mazoku; there was human in him still, enough for her to love, and enough for him to love her. And though there would always be a part of her heart that belonged solely to Gourry . . . well, Xellos knew that, and accepted it.  
  
I just want you to know who I am!  
  
They would make a life together to the best of their abilities, for as long as the gods allowed it. It was enough. Lina picked the locket back up and placed it around her neck once more.  
  
I just want you to know who I am!  
  
In her lair, Beast Master smiled to herself and darkened her crystal with a whim. She looked down at the lock of purple hair she'd managed to grab from Xellos's head when he'd hugged her. The smile broadened. It might be years before she needed another powerful minion, but when she did, there would always be another Xellos. Zelas Metallium got up and put the lock of hair away in a velvet-lined box on her dresser, then lit up another cigarette, sat down again, and tilted her chair back to look at the ceiling.  
  
  
  
  
The End, or at least the Hiatus.  
  
  
  
C & C is always welcome! And to the person who reviewed Love Without Love and said that all Xellos-Lina fanfiction is just about sex, and the plot is just trappings....I appreciate your opinion, and, while I disagree with it, I'm glad for two reasons: First, you were able to express it in a mature manner, and second and more importantly, you found my writing captivating enough to be worth reading, despite the subject matter, and worthy of a response. I thank you for the compliment to my talent, if not to my content. ::beams:: ^_^  



End file.
